Man Who?

The football flog is back and he’s taking aim at the football club formerly known as Manchester United. A lukewarm start is a nice way to put it but I put it to the Mancs that Round 2 has brought nothing but a sense of loss that rhymes with ‘Nick Faldo’. And here’s a clue – it isn’t Gary Neville, that guy is amazingly shirt. Unfortunately, Man Who has resorted to being all flash and no carry, the famous number 7 is gone and it looks like Sir Alex Ferguson (SAF) has missed the opportunity to fill the larder before winter.

Take a look at the Man Who list and the signs are worrying – with Scholes and Giggs more interested in when Meals on Wheels is coming and Fergie forgetting where he left his last Werthers, the Red Devils are looking more limp than the English first XI.

But don’t take my word for it, let’s break down the the issues as they stand:

1. The midfield are old – reaaallly old. This will come into play when Grandpa Giggs and Auntie Scholes have to decide whether to bake scones or woo birds at Champions league.
2. Fergie’s faith in Michael Owen is a poor substitute for Pope John VI’s Michaelangelo – one was born to paint divine murals in a fine manner, the other was Michael Owen. Enough said.
3. If any team in Europe think they can replace Ronaldo with Antonio Valencia they are kidding themselves. It is akin to trading in a Ferrari Testarossa for a reliable Ford Falcon. Even if Valencia proves more successful than in his Wigan spell, he will still be well short of the immense production of Ronaldo. No matter how much SAF spins the effectiveness of Valencia over the course of the year, it is no doubt going to be nowhere near that of the superhuman feats of Ronaldo over the last two years. Get used to mediocrity in midfield Manc fans – and don’t get me started on Michael Carrick.
4. Gary Neville – One colostomy bag please!!!!!

I may be seen as unusually harsh on Man Who however these opportunities come along very rarely. They are a great club and they should be judged accordingly – I invite your opinion however I believe that Man Who is on the downer, and it rests with Fergie to right the ship – but NOT WITH F****** NEVILLE!